The indignity of Bicycle Commuting in Dubai

Indignity

In*dig"ni*ty\, n.; pl. Indignities. [L. indignitas: cf. F.
indignit['e]. See Indign.] Any action toward another which
manifests contempt for him; an offense against personal dignity; unmerited
contemptuous treatment; contumely; incivility or injury, accompanied with
insult.

How might a prince of my great hopes forget So great
indignities you laid upon me? --Shak.

First off, I’d like to make an apology to BikeSnob NYC for stealing his blog headline. It is just so apropos, I couldn’t resist. I invite him to come out to Dubai and try out the commute so we can have an indignity-off. I do believe I would win!

I’ve been commuting to work by bicycle in Dubai pretty much every day for 2 months now, which makes this a good time to sit back and reflect on how things are going. To compare my perceptions with the cruel realities and pleasant surprises, as well as to look forward and see what lies ahead.

I have enjoyed my commutation so far. It is relatively safe (I am not yet dead), quite quick (20 to 25 min depending on lights and my energy levels), and I very much enjoy feigning indifference to the people who stare at me unbelieving in the elevator as I stand there sweating with my helmet in hand.

Sure there have been times when I didn’t feel much like riding, but I don’t really have much of a choice. OK, there is the bus, but the bus isn’t anywhere near as convenient as my bicycle for my particular commute – yesterday it took an hour and 10 minutes to make the same 10k trip (only 50 min home though!), and thus it is only to be used in times of illness (like this week) or serious laziness (I am very much looking forward to being lazy on the metro). On the plus side though, you can read on the bus!

In terms of speed, Dubai has my previous commutes beat hands down. I rode approximately the same distance in London and it took at a minimum 10 minutes longer due to lights and traffic. So there apparently is a plus side to the gigantic roads and lack of rational spacing between traffic lights! The downside is that the road geometry seems to engender some sort of animalistic, brain stem originating need for some people to go as fast as mechanically possible between spaced out traffic lights with little regard for the personal safety of others. This need is prevalent everywhere, but most cities have a fairly dense grid of streets and thus traffic signals to somewhat deter the whackos.

The whole speeding from red light to red light thing never ceases to amaze me. I am sure a large majority of commuters drive the same route every day, yet they never seem to realize that no matter how fast they drive they won’t make the next light. I can actually run the length of the Boulevard at Burj Dubai faster than the cars (even stopping at the lights!), yet people constantly rev their engines and roar away from the light, only to hit the next red light. Is it done out of frustration or just pure idiocy?

I have an idea for pointing out the lunacy of peoples behaviour behind the wheel. I would make up cue cards, one or two for each light on the boulevard. The first would lay out the premise, something like, “You’re all nobs” “I will beat you” “to the end”, then at the next light, “why do you gun it?” “resistance is futile!”, then at the end “see, told you so” and “chill out mo fos”. Or something along those lines. I might need to hire a script writer for some better zingers. I figure I could easily amuse myself for an hour whilst getting a good workout.

While there are tons of nobs out there, there are also quite a few people who actually drive fairly reasonably, and quite a few are actually nice – slowing down and giving me some room when passing. Unfortunately those aren’t the people that stick in your brain; it’s the nobs you remember. The nobs not only being the ones who gun it at lights, but the ones who pass to close at high speed, cut you off at turns and honk as though you don’t belong on the road. Just a few bad apples sometimes spoil the whole bunch, cliché, but true. I have had days where I was absolutely thrilled to bits by vehicular behaviour, and then BAM, I got nobbed! Just ruins the whole ride, filling my mind with nothing but hate and vitriol for the remainder of my journey.

As a cyclist there is really very little you can do to vent your anger and get the point across that someone’s driving is at best annoyingly self centred, and at worst incredibly dangerous. I’ve done my fair share of shouting, gesticulating wildly, and my personal favourite – open palmed car slapping (makes lots of noise, but no damage), but these methods usually tend to further enrage the motorist, who most likely already thinks you shouldn’t be taking up space on ‘their’ roadway.

Curiously though (and to my advantage), the same roadway infrastructure that engenders an epidemic of nobbish speeding also tends to create massive waits at traffic lights. This long wait time normally gives me plenty of time to catch up with motorists who have just sped by me in an unsafe manner. Now, I could use this ‘face time’ with the nobs to mount a confrontational attach by launching into a tirade about their inherent lack of driving skills and the danger they have brought to bear upon me (I still sometimes do this, anger is a beast), but instead, I have chosen PLAN B.

In an effort to actually make some sort of impact I have decided to ‘try’ to be as civil as I can when approaching motorists and unleash PLAN B. I ask them to roll down their windows, and I whip out a copy of the ‘Safety Tips and Rules of the Road’ from the ‘RTA Pedestrian and Cyclist Design Manual’ on which I have helpfully highlighted the salient points of motorist / cyclist behaviour that they (el nobbitos) always seem to forget. Drop me an email if you would like a more legible copy!

Official Dubai RTA Anti-nob legislation

The most salient points being:

1. When approaching a bicycle keep on the lookout and slow down. Give them plenty of room.
2. Yield to bicycle riders at intersections the same as is done for other types of vehicles.
3. Do not crowd bicycles. Wait for a clear stretch of road before passing a bicycle that is moving slower than your motor vehicle in a lane too narrow to share…the greater the speed difference between you and a bicyclist, the more room you should allow when passing.
4. Do not honk at a bicyclist… There may be good reason for a bicyclist to ride in the travel lane, such as roadway hazards not visible to motorists.

I have only had one verbal altercation when attempting to educate the motoring public with my fliers. The vast majority of drivers are apologetic when approached, and are careful to give me much more room when they pass again. I’ve even cornered bus drivers (the bendy buses tend to crowd)! All but one motorist has been quite receptive, and that one time I cracked and reverted to yelling and screaming – thus turning myself into a nob. Must be contagioius.

From my experience, I would say most nobbish behaviour tends to orbit around points 1 and 3, with point 4 coming in a close third. I am also guessing that the persistent honking I encounter is cultural, you don’t see it much from the western expats, but the sub-continental drivers seem to use it as some sort of echolocation system. As though they were half dolphin, half nob.

I realize that my quest to de-nobitize the motoring public of Dubai one by one is a rather Quixotic quest, but in the end, if I manage to perhaps sway a couple of people to drive in even a slightly safer fashion I feel I have achieved something. I have also managed to bathe myself in a calming PLAN B salve which soothes away the hate and vitriol, and that in itself is worth the effort.